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本屋に行っていい本と出会う日と、さっぱりの日がある。今日はさしずめ後者だった。もう少しで出たばかりのSteve Jobsの伝記（翻訳）に手が伸びかけたのだが、どうせなら原書にしたらと思い直してパス。今読みかけのあれやこれやを思い出すと、無駄遣いするのはやめておこうという消極的な気分にもなる。とは言え何も買わないのも癪なので、どうということもない新書などつかむ。それこそ無駄遣いなのに。おまけにレジの傍にあった一枚\980のDVDも。衝動買いしたのは"Last Chance Harvey"というラブコメディー。お金を払いながら、いつそんなもの見る暇があるのと自問する。結局今晩見た。Dustin HoffmanとEmma Thompsonがいい味を出している。他愛ない話だが、2時間の贅沢だった。仕事に戻るには遅くなり過ぎた。映画の中のセリフの通り、「明日はもう今日だ」。かくて予定は、ずれまくる。本日の更新は表紙の写真（千葉県流山）とこのページの写真（庭の片隅）です。

One day I find good books in a bookstore and another day I find none. Today was the latter case. I was almost buying the newly published biography of Steve Jobs but I thought I would rather read it in the original language; so I didn't. Remembering this and that books which I'm still in the middle, I think I should not waste money. Feeling I couldn't go out of the store without buying anything, I wasted money picking up a rubbish paperback. In addition, I bought a cheap DVD which I found by the cash desk: "Last Chance Harvey" with Dustin Hoffman and Emma Thompson. It's a comedy of a man and a woman who are both middle aged and clumsy. Very funny,. (I said to myself, "When can I watch it? Remember I have so much to do today and tomorrow and all the time." Actually I watched it tonight.) It was a 2 hours luxury. It's too late to go back to my work. Just as Harvey said in the movie, "Tomorrow is today." Thus my to-do list always comes to nothing. Today's update: photos in the index page and here in this page. Thanks for remembering this website.

生存しています。このサイトも、私も。夏は掻き消えてしまった。早くも神無月。何もしていなかったわけではないけれど、ウェブ上に存在を記録しようとする者としては失格だ。今年は天災多発の時として記録されるだろう。もちろん原発大事故の年としても。いずれに対しても無為のまま今日まで来ているが、ひっそりと事態を見つめ続けている。近所の林の中を散歩していたら、先日の台風で倒れた木に行く手を阻まれた。こんなところにも嵐の爪痕が。折れたばかりの幹の色が生々しい。本日の更新は表紙とこのページの写真（東京都東村山市空堀川と雑木林）です。おまけに、最近ウェブ上にアップした夏のイベントの写真と地図ページを。細かい仕事だった。いずれも純粋ボランティアワーク。ご訪問に感謝します。

This web-site is alive, and so am I. Summer has gone. I can hardly believe it's already October. It's not that I've been doing nothing but I haven't proved my existeance by writing here. It's shame as a writer on the web. Anyway, 2011 will be long remembered as the year of natural disasters and accidents at a nuclear powerplant. Although I have been doing nothing for them, I've been watching the situation quietly. While I was walking in small woods in my neighborhood, a fallen tree stopped me. It was caused by the recent typhoon. Look at the lively color of the broken trunk! To9day's update: the photo on the index page (the River Karabori, and a fallen tree both in Higashimurayama City, Tokyo). Please let me add links to an album of an event in summer, and a map of a local shopping avenue in Hongo, Tokyo. I've been working for them as a pure volunteer. Thanks fro your visit.

「あれから五ヶ月」という言い方で、東日本大震災を今日も意識する。友人が「脱原発」の資料や署名用紙を送ってくれた。東日本の住民として、このままでいいのかいけないのか、それが問題だ。ようやく学期中の生活リズムから休暇モードに切り替わった。もっとも、「夏休みの日記」を書くと言いながら実行できなかったのが後ろめたい。先日行った散策をアルバム「狭山丘陵散策-01」に並べてみた。蟄居していながら習い性となっている散歩だけはする。

Five months have passed since the day of disasters in East Japan. A friend of mine sent me a set of pamphlets, brochures, and a sheet for signature-collection against nuclear power station. To be or not to be, as a resident in East Japan; that is the question. Eventually my working rhythm has been substituted with holiday rhythm. However, I feel guilty because I've not been writing my holiday diary for 9 days already. I uploaded an album of walking in my district. Although I've been at home most of the days, walking is my only pleasure actually.

今日から書くのは正真正銘の「夏休み日記」だ。今学期最後の会議を済ませ、成績登録（学内からパソコンで成績を打ち込む）を終え、自分用の宿題を積み上げる。長い"To Do List"を前に、夏休みの最初の日には四週間もあれば何でもできるような気になっている。読んで書いて歩いて・・・ああ目が回る。実際には果て無く続くあれこれが待っているにしても。また南の海上に台風が発生したようだ。余震も不気味に続いている。昨日も今日も揺れた。地球自体が活発に変化する惑星であるなら、内部のエネルギーが噴出するのは止めようもない。

I'm writing a real summer holiday diary now. I've finished with the last meeting of this semester, registered students' grades on the web, piled up my own summer assignments on the desk! I've got a long "To Do List." At the beginning of 4 week summer holiday, I feel I can do anything. I'll read, write, walk, and ..., Oh, I feel almost dizzy just by thinking of possibilities. In fact I'm required to this and that from morning till midnight at home now that my teaching job has come to an intermission now. Reportedly another typhoon is approaching Japan. After-quakes continue. We had small quakes yesterday, and today. It cannot be helped that the energy inside of the earth cannot be restrained as long as the earth is a living planet. .

既に8月 / 掌からこぼれる砂 / カスケードを流れ落ちる水 / 未明の余震 / 夢かと思いながら起き上りもせず / ホウシャノウモレ / 今日も空は灰色 / 福島産のシイタケと / 「国産牛」の薄切りを買う / いずれ終末に向かっているのだからと不安を鎮めて / 苛立つ人々 / 訳がないわけではない / あなたもわたしも / 種無しブドウを食べながら / 希望の種も見当たらぬ

In August / sand is falling down form palms / water streaming down the cascade / an after-quake in the dawn / I never get up in dreams / radiation is leaking / the sky is gray again / I buy mushrooms from Fukushima and Japanese beef / we're bound for the terminal anyway / don't worry! no problem! / irritated people everywhere / they're not unreasonable / you and I / we eat seedless grapes / no seeds for hope yet

久しぶりに弟が立ち寄った。電話で到来物の「イカを持っていく」と言ったように思ったので、「イカそうめんと、生姜焼きと、サトイモとの煮つけにしよう・・・」などと勝手に思い描いて待っていると、箱から出てきたのはハウスミカンだった。どうやらそそっかしい私は"mIKAn"と真ん中だけ聞いたらしい。この季節に思いがけない果物だった。弟に会うと子供時代が蘇る。

My brother dropped in. Before he came, he had called me he would bring me "squids" ("ika" in Japanese) so that I was surprised he opened a box to give me small oranges ("mikan" in Japanese) "Where are squids? " I asked. He looked puzzled and said, "Why squids?" Then I realized I had heard wrong:. I had taken "mIKAn" for "ika." All my delusion (I had planned to cook sashimi, stake and stew with potatoes) vanished on the spot! What a shame! Whenever i meet my brother, he reminds me of our childhood.

豪雨が福島県と新潟県に降り続いている。ヘリコプターから映される、冠水した田圃や集落の様子を見ると、三月の津波に襲われた三陸海岸沿いの平野を思い出す。福島も新潟も学生時代に通った土地だ。緑豊かな夏の情景しか思い出せない私の不明。それにしても何という水害続き。「文明」も「文化」も、ましてや「科学」は水の前に無力だ。自然は「人間にとっての適度」など知るものか。鎮まり給えと祈るのみ。

Extremely heavy rain has been falling on Fukushima Prefecture and Niigata Prefecture in Japan. Watching the reports from a helicopter on TV, flat and huge rice fields with sporadic houses are covered with water. They remind me of the scenes I saw in March: a large extent of fields with houses and trees were overwhelmed by proceeding tsunami in a few minutes. Both Niigata and Fukushima were destinations I frequented in summer when I was a college student. How stupid I am to remember only the awesome green fields and mountains over there! Water attacks human beings repetitively. Civilization, culture and science too are powerless against water. Nature has nothing to do with "moderation for human beings." I only pray for peace.

東京都文京区の本郷通り、東大正門前にある棚沢書店のご主人から絵葉書を頂戴した。嘗て店のショウウィンドウに何かのプレートがあるのを眺めていたら、ご主人が出て来て「この店の建物は登録文化財の認定を受けております」と説明してくれた。以来、通るたびにちょっと寄って挨拶したり話をしたり。（棚沢書店は先代との交流をめぐって木下順二の自伝エッセイ『本郷』（1988）にも登場する。）はがきに曰く、「御下宿本郷館明治38築、木造。８/1より解体します」と。ああ遂に、と切ない気持ちになる。歴史的建造物とは言え、既に限りなく廃屋に近かった。古色蒼然たる木造三階建には、あたりを払う威厳もあったが痛ましさもあった。槌が振り下ろされればひとたまりもなかろう。それとも106年の歴史はそう容易く屈服しないのであろうか。大災害の年であれば尚、建物の命脈についてもの思わずにいられない。ご参考に画像ページ「本郷館」をどうぞ。

I received a postcard from the owner of an old, used bookstore Tanazawa Books, which is located in front of the main gate fo the University of Tokyo, Hongo, Bunkyo Ward, Tokoyo. Once when I was watching a plate in the show window of the shop, the elderly owner came out and explained to me saying, "This building is registered as a historical construction." I was quite impressed with him and his bookstore.. Ever since, occasionally, I've dropped in on the shop to have a chat with him. (Tanazawa Books is eminent as it is mentioned and described in an autobiographical essay Hongo by Kinoshita Junji, a famous Japanese dramatist and a writer. In his postcard, Mr. Tanazawa writes, "The wooden building Hongo-kan, a traditional boarding house for students established in 1905 will be torn down on August 1. " Alas, eventually! That historical building has been with dignity and misery at the same time in a scholastic quarter of Hongo. I imagine it will be torn down immediately with some powerful strokes from outside. Or will the history won't be conquered so easily? In a year of disasters, I cannot help thinking of the life of constructions.　See Hongo-kan.

義母のところへ週一度来てくれるヘルパーさんと久しぶりに会う。一時間半で義母の望みを次々に叶えてくださる。挨拶に出たら庭で草むしりをていた。（おお、気になっていたところだった。）早速私も加わる。庭の隅の水槽でガサゴソという音がした。「おや、カメちゃんがいるのですね」とヘルパーさん。「ええ、もう15年くらい飼っています」と私。彼女の家には猫がいるという。近所の野良が生んだのを引き取ったそうな。「60を超えたら新しくペットは飼うなというのですけれどね」と優に70を超えている彼女は言いながら、「いきさつがあって」と口を濁す。「猫だなんて、羨ましい！」と私は本気で言う。夏草を引っこ抜きながらペット談義は続く。一月に来たその猫の名前は「むつき」というのだそうだ。15年選手の我が家のカメには、相変わらず名前がない。

I had a chance to meet the lady who comes to take care of my mother-in-law once a week. She does what my mother-in-law wants one after another. When I came to greet her, she was out in our small garden weeding. (Oh, that's what I should have done long before!) anyway, I joined her. Then there was a noise from the fish tank in a shade. The lady said, "Ah, you have a turtle!" "Yes," I said, "it's been with us for more than 15 years." She said she has a cat. !A cat! How nice!" said I with envy. "They say we shouldn't have a new pet after you become 60, but I had to. The kitten was left behind by a stray cat in our neighborhood," said she vaguely. She told me the cat was named "Mutuki (an old name for January in Japanese) "because it arrived in January. We went on talking about our pets. My turtle is still nameless after 15 years!

大なり小なり「想定外のこと」は起こるものである。夕刻、夫からケータイに電話があった。はてまた何用？と訝しみつつ出ると、「トイレの扉が開かなくなった」と。駆けつけてみるとドアノブが突然壊れた模様。娘とともにドライバーでこじ開けようとしたが、二進も三進もいかない。扉の向こうとこちらで空しく押したり引いたり。そうだ、あの鍵屋を呼ぼう！と突如思いつき、トイレの中からケータイでコールすると、旧知の鍵屋のご主人がスクーターに乗って10分で到着。「これは素人には無理です」と言うや否や、ゴリゴリ金鋸を引いていたが、埒が明かないと見るや家中を揺るがす大音響で三度、四度扉を引っ張った。バーンと扉は開き、囚われ人は解放された。民間レスキュー隊は何と頼もしかったことか。

Whether big or small, "unexpected matters" happen anytime. In the evening, my husband called me by the cell phone. He said, "I'm imprisoned in the toilet." What?! I rushed and found out the door knob was broken. My daughter and I tried hard to break the knob with small screwdrivers in vain. We pushed and pulled the door from outside and inside for half an hour. Suddenly, we remembered the master of a key-shop. My husband called him from inside of the toilet. He came to our house in 10 minutes by a motor scooter. "Only a professional can take care of this kind of thing!" said he. He used a metal saw but couldn't cut the joint. Then after a few times of trial with thundering noise, he banged open the door with all his might! The prisoner was released. How heroic the key-master looked!

本日は大暑。いつの間にか、すでに夏は頂上に来ていた。ゆっくりとした台風のせいでこのところ冷房要らずの涼しさだったが、それも今日あたりまでだろう。どっさりと仕事があるのに、学期中の授業が終わると緊張感が抜ける。これからしばらく自分でリズムを作っていかないと、貴重な夏はすぐに行ってしまうだろう。せめて毎日短信を書こう。

In the Japanese old traditional calendar, today is called "Taisho" indicating the hottest day in a year. I was astonished to find out we are already on the top of the summer. Due to the slowly proceeding typhoon, it has been exceptionally cool for a few days. I'm afraid the heat will come back tomorrow. Although I have a lot to do, I can't keep my tension for working now that the teaching duty of this semester has come to an end. I've got to create my own rhythm of life; otherwise, the precious summertime will be gone immediately. I'll write "The Latest Note" every day at lease.

私の台所は二階にある。北窓を開けて洗い物をする。その窓から北側のお隣さんがよく見える。家と家の間には塀があるので垣根越しに会話するような間柄ではない。ただ二階の北窓からお庭を拝見するばかり。私の目の高さにまで茂った立派な梅の木がある。一月の半ばには満開となり、それは見事な花を楽しませてくれる。初夏には植木屋さんが庭中の木をきれいに刈り込む。半月ほど前、庭に職人さんが二人ばかリ入って何やら相談をしていた。翌日窓を開けてびっくり、なんとも立派な葭簀が縁側の前にしっかりと建てつけてある。目にも涼しげな日除けだ。節電の夏。天然素材の日除けは日本家屋によく似合う。老婦人一人暮らしのお宅だが、なんとも始末のよいこと。私もグダグダしてはいられない。本日の更新は表紙の写真（水道橋駅前、夏草に囲まれた神田川）とこのページの写真（葭簀の立った日本家屋）です。「ホットスポット」と呼ばれる街へ毎週通っている。これから原発はどうなるのだろう。余所事ではない。

My kitchen is on the second floor. I wash dishes looking out of a window facing the north. Through the window, I can see my northern neighbor house well. Between our houses, there is such a tall wall that prevents us from chatting to each other. All I can do is just to watch the garden in the north. I can see a tall plum tree, which becomes in full bloom in the middle of January. I can enjoy the gorgeous flowers every year. In early summer, a gardener comes and prunes all the trees so neatly. A few weeks ago, two workers were talking in the garden. Next morning I was surprised to find a huge reed screen settled in front of the living room windows. It looked so cool. The summer when we're supposed to save electricity is coming now. What an elegant way it is to shut the blazing sunshine away with the screen made of a natural material! It suits the Japanese wooden house. An old lady is living in the house alone. Her life looks very neat. How I adore her! Today's update: a photo in the index page (the river Kanda surrounded with summer weeds, near Suido-bashi Station, Tokyo) and a photo in this page (a Japanese house with a reed screen, Higashimurayama, Tokyo). BTW, I'm commuting to a town recently called "a hot-spot." What will become of nuclear power stations in Japan? This is a hot issue of our own.

三月から五月へひとっ飛び。この間の多事多端については書くときりがないのですっかり省略と行こう。いつも「記憶と記録」のことを考える。体験を言葉にするとそれは記録となる。だからと言って書かれたことが必ずしも記憶の底に残るわけではない。書かなかったことの方が深く刻まれて、思わぬ時に立ち現われては心を悩ませたり喜ばせたりすることもある。渦中にあっては深刻そのものであったことも、時が経つとおぼろげな思い出として美化されたりもする。今日は学生たちと「小石川後楽園」を散策した。久々に訪れた庭園はあちこちに補修の土嚢が積まれ、景観としては今一つであったけれども、例えば「八卦堂跡」で「関東大震災により消失」といった解説を読むと、この度の東日本大震災でそのように失われた史跡が各地にあることを実感する。80年以上たっても人々の記憶に刻まれることが、今もまた生じているのだなと。例年のことではあるが、都心のキャンパスから徒歩圏内に歴史と自然の美しさをを感じられる空間があることの貴重さに胸打たれる。若者たちの心には、江戸時代の庭園創造の精神がどのように刻まれるのだろう。本日の更新は表紙の写真（小石川後楽園内の稲田と菖蒲田）、このページの写真（同、内庭の睡蓮）です。すでに関東地方にも入梅の宣告！

I simply leaped from March to May. I won't ponder the various things happend in between for now. I often think of "recording and memory." When you record a certain experience, it usually turns to be "a memory" but not all the things recorded would stay in the depth of your memory. Unwritten things sometimes arise from the bottom of your memory and annoy or please you. When you're in the center of a serious situation, you may take it too heavy for your life, it may also turn to be something sweet in your memory. Today I took a walk in Koishikawa Korakuen Gardens with my students. Unfortunately, there were spots under maintenance and repair, with sandbags piled up; however, when we read such explanation on the board as "Hakkedou was destroyed by Kanto Great Earthquake," we couldn't help thinking of the lost historical spots in disaster-stricken areas. Something which are to be engraved in people's mind has happened again really. Anyway, I appreciate people created such a beautiful garden in Edo Period in our history. I wonder how young people feel at the natural beauty created by the art of gardening. it survived earthquakes and time. Today's update: A photo in the index page (a scene in Koishikawa Kourakuen Gardens; the rice field and iris filed behind it. ) and another photo in this page: lotus flowers in the pond of the inner garden.) It was announced that rainy season has started in Kanto District. Alas!

関東地方では「計画停電」が行われている。但し、いつ実行されるか、中止になるのか、直前まで分からないのでストレスは大きい。停電になると街は灯を消し、ひっそりと静まり返る。被災地の不自由を思えばこんなことくらい何でもないのだが、電気が消えることが今回の災害の本質を突きつけている。地震・津波は天災だった。だが、付随して起こった原発事故にはこの国の在り方全体が関わっている。昨日飲料水中の放射性物質が高い値を示し、乳児に飲ませるなという政府のお達しが出た時、これまでにない衝撃を受けた。日本の水はいつも、いつまでも安全だと思い込んでいた幸福な時代を我々は失うのかという驚き。数値は日によって変わる。場所によっても変わる。農作物や酪農製品の廃棄命令の出された地域もある。「私たちは何も悪いことをしていないのに」という生産者の叫びをどう受け止めたらいいのだろう。そして、留学生たちが母国に呼び戻されていく。「これしきの放射能で」という言説も多々あるが、誰も去る者を引き留めることはできない。一時避難所は東京にも開設されている。突然身に降りかかった災難とどう対峙していくか、万人が問われている。「回復力」ということがしきりに言われているが、言葉では誰も救えない。明日はどんな日だろう。本日の更新は短信のみにて。

Rolling blackout has been going on in Kanto Area. The problem is, however, it's not very clear when and where it is operated. Sometimes, it is cancelled suddenly. The schedule is announced right before, which is quite stressful. When blackout starts, towns become dark and quiet: shops are closed and streets are vacant. Certainly it's nothing compared to the life of suffering victims in North East Area. But blackout indicates the truth of this disaster. The great earthquake and tsunami were natural disasters. Not the accidents at nuclear power plants. They were essentially caused by our way of life: we've been too much dependent on electricity. Yesterday the level of radioactive iodine was observed much higher than normal in drinking water so that Japanese government warned us not to give the water supplied through certain purification plants to babies. I was shocked to learn this news more than ever. So far we've been leading a life in which water has been and will be clean and safe here in this country. The level of danger is different every day. In some places, vegetables and milk are labeled dangerous and farmers are told not to sell them. They cry, "What harm did we do?" Now many foreign students are leaving Japan. Their countries call them back. Some say this level of radioactive won't do any harm to our body, but none can stop people evacuating from Japan. There are evacuation centers in Tokyo now. We are all confronting with the aftermath and calamities of the disaster. And "resilience" is the word we are encouraged to remember. But words are futile without real actions. What will tomorrow bring us? Today's update: this note only.

この一週間で世界がひっくり返った。正確に言うと3.11の午後3時過ぎ、突然大揺れの地震に見舞われた。あまりの揺れに先ずは階下へ駆け降り、畳の上で立ち往生している義母の手を取った。義母を座らせ、室内を見回す。天井が落ちてきたらいけないと、縁側のガラス戸をあけ、いつでも飛び出せる体勢を取って私も座った。二人でじっと手を取り合って耐えること数分。テレビの画面には三陸沖で大地震発生のテッロプが出た。間もなくそれは津波警報に変わり、あれよあれよという間に空中からの中継画面が防波堤を超える波を映した。ゆっくりと車が橋の下に落ちていく。それを橋の上から眺める人の姿も見えた。波はあっという間に濁流となり川をさかのぼる。そして家々をなぎ倒し、肥沃な田畑を飲み込んで扇状に広がっていく。むしろ優雅に見えるほどの滑らかさで、大地をなめるようにどこまでも進んでゆく。「これがTSUNAMIか」と思った時には既に内陸奥深くまで水は達していた。その後繰り返し繰り返し各種の津波の映像が流されることになったが、あの大地を覆う水の広がりが脳裏を離れない。

その後数日のうちに各地の惨禍に加えて、福島第一、第二原子力発電所の事故が世界の焦眉の的となった。「炉心溶融」「放射性物質拡散」というメッセージが駆け回り、TVニュースもネット上の記事も原発一色である。東京電力は「計画停電」を開始し、関東地方全域で電車が止まる。したがって千葉県にある私の通勤先も停電に伴う変則的な業務体制となり、都心の本郷キャンパスで予定されていた会議や行事等も軒並みキャンセルとなった。娘の大学は卒業式を中止。街のスーパーでは品切れ続出。これから状況は回復していくのか、それともさらに混迷の度を深めるのか見通しが立たない。

阪神淡路大震災のときは想像力が不足していたと今にして思う。今度はほぼ東日本全域が「現場」である。地震当日、東京では大量の「通勤難民」が生まれた。都心から郊外の住居まで戻れない人の群れである。私はたまたま自宅にいて難を逃れた。以来職場には未だ行けていない。地元の私鉄は動かないのである。あんなに「決まりきったルートをたまには外れてみたい」などとふざけたことを書いていたが、いざ外されてみると日常の円滑な回転がどれほど意味深いものであったかを知る。今後もこの経験を記録していこう。本日の更新は短信のみにて。

The world around me has drastically changed in one week. In the afternoon of March 11, an extremely big earthquake attacked the north and eastern parts of Japan. Hit by strong shakings, I rushed to downstairs to help my mother-in-law, who was at a loss on the tatami floor in her room. I put her sit on a chair and looked around the room. I was horrified to think the possibility of the ceiling falling down. She can't walk. I thought I would hang her on my back in emergency. All I could do was just to open the windows to secure the exit for emergency. Soon after the shaking was ceased, we were surprised to watch the TV news. it was showing TSUNAMI attacking the coast and even the town and fields far beyond. I couldn't believe the scene going on, where the waves turned to the rushing water to go spreading over the fields gulping everything on the way; boats, cars, houses, trees, and all. Repetitively I saw videos of several kinds of tsunami attacks. I could hardly forget the first live one I saw on the TV-almost elegantly spreading carpet over the land of lives..

In a few days, in addition to the devastating reality of victims, we had to face another facts: the accidents happening in nuclear power stations in Fukushima Prefecture. Over and over again TV news tell us how serious the situation is through such words like "the possibility of meltdown" and "spreading of radioactive substances." People living in the areas around the power stations were told to leave their home. Earthquake, tsunami, and nuclear disasters all came together. Tokyo Electric Power Company decided blackouts. Due to that, our campus in Chiba Prefecture is under the very limited operation. Several events and plans have been cancelled. We're not sure what will become of us next.

When the earthquake attacked Kobe and Awaji, I was not able to imagine the disaster well. This time huge areas in North-east japan and Kanto District are the battle fields. We're involved. After-shakings hit us so often. On the day of the earthquake, people in metropolis and its environs couldn't come home because most of them are long distance commuters. When trains stopped, they could do nothing but to wait patiently. Fortunately I was home on that day but ever since, I've not been able to go to my work place. Trains in my neighborhood never move yet. I blame my self having said I would like to get out of my routines. I know now how precious it was to lead an ordinary life with routine works. Well, well, I'll continue writing of this experience. Today's update: this note only.

おや、私としたことが！文体が滅茶苦茶だった。今年は神妙に「ですます調」で始めたことを忘れて、昨日はずいぶんつっけんどんな書き方をしている。しばらくはその日の気分であれこれ書こう。 天気も気まぐれ。昨日のポカポカ陽気から一転、今日は雪だった。それも昼過ぎまでで、あとは雨。引きこもっていても仕事はメールや電話でいくらでも押し寄せてくる。日がな一日パソコンの前というのも耐え難いので、夕方になると雨でも雪でも外へ出る。近所の「介護支援事業所」でヘルパーさんの情報をもらってきた。学期が始まると普段は義母の散歩に付き添ったり、車椅子を押して買い物に行くことが難しくなる。週一度の訪問リハビリでは足りなくなりそうだ。家のことで人を頼むのにはまだ少し抵抗もある。何事も未知の領域に踏み出すには勇気が要る。切羽詰まればそんな悠長なことは言っていられなくなるが。そうか、老化を受け入れ難いのは義母だけではないのだな。バラの芽が伸びてきた。　「新しき樟脳抱いて雛眠る」　本日の更新は「短信」のみにて。

Oh, what am I doing? My Japanese writing style here has not unity. I started in a polite style this year but forgot it and wrote in a blunt style yesterday. I'll change styles depending on my inconsistent feelings of the day. The weather is whimsical too. Yesterday it was warm like a real spring; whereas, it snowed today in the morning. In the afternoon, it turned to rain. Staying home all day, I received mails and phones telling me what to do. it's unbearable to watch the PC monitor all day long so that I jump out of home no matter if it's snowing or raining. I stopped by at a home care support center in my neighborhood for information. They gave me a list of support organizations. When the new semester starts, I'll be too busy to support my mother-in-law during weekdays. Just a PT for rehabilitation once a week won't be enough. Maybe we'll have to ask a helper to accompany her for walking and shopping (by a wheel chair). I'm still a little reluctant to ask someone to help my mother-in-law at home. We need courage to step into an unknown field. In emergency, I'm sure I'll throw away all my reluctance of course. I know now I'm reluctant to admit myself getting old too. BTW, buds of a rose stems are growing. <Dolls of the festival/ fell asleep again/ holding new camphor bags. > Today's update: this note only.

March 6, 2011

既に弥生となって一週間。お雛様を早く片付けなくては。このところ「春よ来い、早く来い」の童謡を思い出すことが多い。少し暖かくなってきたとたん、義母は外へ出たくてたまらなくなっている。押し車（ショッピングカー）に頼って一歩一歩ゆっくりと歩く。せいぜい近所を二区画ほど回るだけなのだけれど、それが嬉しい。庭木を見たり、花を見たり、道路の凸凹に一喜一憂したり、追い抜いて行く車に驚かされたり、たまに道行く人と言葉を交わしたり。そばについて歩く私も一人ではありえないゆっくりさ。もしかすると歩き始めた子供と一緒だった頃以来かもしれない。命の不思議な循環。螺旋状にそれを何度か繰り返すうちに命は終わるのだろうか。陽だまりを歩いているときには、私の頭の中から仕事や何かのプレッシャーはすべて消えている。気にしていてもどうなるものでなし。ただ歩けることが嬉しい。それで十分だから。本日の更新は「短信」のみにて。

A week has already passed since the beginning of March! I have to put the dolls (for "Girls' Doll Festival") back into boxes as soon as possible. Now that it's getting warmer day by day, I often remember a children's song which starts with "Come, spring! Come soon!" because my mother-in-law is eager to go outdoors for a walk. She walks pushing a shopping cart step by step very slowly. She can walk round only a few blocks in our neighborhood but she enjoys herself, watching trees, plants and flowers in small yards of houses, worried by bumps of the road and cars passing by, and talking to somebody she meets occasionally. I also walk so slowly along with her. Perhaps this is the speed I experienced when my daughter started walking long time ago. It's a mysterious cycling of life. Cycling in spirals, is our life climbing up to an end someday? While I'm walking in warm daylight, I'm free from all my worries and pressures from work and other worldly matters. What's the use of worrying? Walking is joy. That's enough, isn't it? Today's update: this note only.

February 27, 2011

久しぶりに散策しました。相変わらず地元志向です。友人たち、同僚たち、学生達などは盛んに海外へ行きますが、私は非常に狭いエリアにしがみついております。が、それもまたいろいろな発見をもたらしてくれます。学期中はあまりにも仕事量が多くて、生き延びることで精いっぱい（冗談でも誇張でもなく）だったので、地図を片手に知らない街や尾根道をぶらぶら歩くなどという贅沢とは縁遠い暮らしでした。今、僅かな自由時間を手に入れて、ささやかに命の洗濯をしています。このサイトに戻ってきたのもその一つです。本日の更新は写真がいっぱいの2011 TOKYO近郊散歩01 「荒幡富士へ」です。英語だけのページも併設しました。ご笑覧あれ！

I've got a chance to take a walk after a long interval. My destination is my neighborhood as usual. Contrastive to my friends, colleagues and students who go abroad frequently and energetically, I stick to where I live. Well, that is interesting and I learn quite a lot anyway. During semesters, all I could do was just to survive (I'm not joking or exaggerating really!) and even a neighborhood walking was far beyond of my life. Now that I've got a shot break, I enjoy walking in towns and lanes in hills with a guide book. It's a happy pastime for me actually. And I'v come back to this website eventually. Thanks! Today's update: a photo page entitled Walking in TOKYO Suburbs 01 "To Mt. Arahata Fuji." An English page is available. Thanks for your visit.

長らくご無沙汰していました。もう誰も訪れないサイトになっているかもしれませんが、性懲りもなく再開します。自動形成のブログにすればよいものを、なんだって1990年代的ホームページ風味のベタな仕様に拘っているものやら。言い訳さておき、10年変わらぬ「更新　短信」にて身辺雑記を書いていきます。そのうちまとまった短文（言語矛盾甚だしいですが！）を別ページにアップしていけますように。この間あまりにも書きたいことを書く時間が取れず、そのうち書きたいことが何だかもうわからなくなっておりました。生活習慣が心の向きを作るのだと愕然とします。どうもネット上での人付き合いも下手で、facebookやtwitterではほとんど発言できず、他人様の文章を読むばかり。なんとしたことか、私、失語症?;-)　本日の更新は表紙の写真（国立新美術館ロビー）とこのページの写真（六本木ヒルズ展望台「東京シティービュー」からの夜景）です。滅多に行かない東京のおへその様な街へ。ライトアップされたおもちゃみたいな東京タワー。右に白く映っているのはお月様ではなく、ガラスの反射光です。あしからず！

After a long silence, I came back to my website again. I'm afraid it has become "a ghost site." Whatever it is, allow me to resume it please. I don't know myself why I stick to this old 1990s' style website when you can make use of automatically-formed blog so easily. No excuse but let me continue writing about my daily life (tedious and nonsense!) as usual. Hopefully I'd like to set up some new pages in which I'll write something a little longer. These days, I've not been able to write for myself; no time was left for that. Then I didn't know what I wanted to write really. It seems the habit of life, which I mean the habit of NOT writing constantly forms the inclination of mind, if it makes any sense at all. I know now I'm not good at socializing with people online--I was almost wordless at facebook or twitter. Am I aphasic?;-) Today's update: a photo in the index page (the lobby of National New Art Museum in Ropponngi) and the one here in this page (the night view from the top of Ropponngi Hills-the observatory called "Tokyo City View.") Actually I seldom go to such a popular spot in the central part of Tokyo. Please look at the toy-like Tokyo Tower! The white object in the right side is not the moon but just a reflection of the glass. Sorry for my poor photo.